Happy contradiction


So…today marks the one-year anniversary of Jackson’s diagnosis with autism, our moving to Oregon, and a year of climbing uphill. Today I feel like I am popping up over the top of this mountainous peak, and catching a fresh, invigorating breeze. I turn back to look at how far we’ve come, and I am thrilled, amazed, and thankful. I never thought Jackson would have come so far. I hoped and prayed for it, but I didn’t expect to see what we’re seeing now.

This was no overnight change. And we’re still far from the highest mountain peak, but our boy sure looks different than he did one year ago. Our lives are better, richer, full of hope, and happy to know our boy better.

One year ago Jackson was a glassy-eyed, distant little boy, who only laughed occasionally at three of our games or randomly for no apparent reason. He almost never initiated social contact, rarely looked in our eyes, and 99.5% of the words that came out of his mouth were meaningless echolalia, lines he’d memorized from Finding Nemo and Little Joe (Veggie Tales), and those only enunciated in vowel sounds.

Yesterday, was the first day Jackson contradicted me. I was thrilled. For a few months, Jackson has been more consistent at imitating our language since he’s required to respond before he will be given anything. It works well, especially when he’s extremely motivated to do so. He’s become a professional tape recorder: “Jackson, do you want chips?” He responds, “You want chips?” meaning yes, I do. Natural responses will not be learned by imitation, but will have to be taught. And completely independent expressions of comments, questions, and opinions may be several mountain ranges away. But yesterday was the first truly independent response that was not pre-recorded.

I was hauling both boys around the driveway in a wagon. We were playing “Stop and Go” trying to elicit a “Go!” from Jackson to get us moving again. I got the brilliant idea to expand our little game to “Slow and Fast.” It didn’t take long for Jackson to decide faster was much more fun. So sweat dripping down my nose, I paused to catch my breath, gasping “Stop!” After a too-brief, 5-second pause, Jackson demanded, “Go!” “Okay, go slowly” I responded willing my body to cooperate. A mischievous glint sparkled in Jackson’s eye, and he exclaimed with a saucy smile, “FASTER!” I suddenly felt new inspiration and energy as I cheered and dragged myself and the wagon onward. Gotta reward that one! The mischievous look, the saucy smile, that blessed contradiction. I’ve waited a whole year for this. The climb was worth it.

4 Replies to “Happy contradiction”

  1. That is such a wonderful rendition of a special moment. I feel joy for you and can just feel your resurgence of energy as you hear your boy responding with excitement and it no longer matters how tired your body feels. Thank you for sharing this milestone. 🙂

  2. Wow! This brought tears to my eyes. I will never see my children’s jokes the same way again. I will no longer take them for granted. I’m so happy for you! Keep climbing!

  3. That is so exciting! I read this before, but now, reading it a second time, I have to comment. Progress is BEAUTIFUL!

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